Gardner's Enemy No. 1: Nasty, Vile Birds!

This past Saturday, Joshua and I had the garden area officially plowed in anticipation of moving our seedlings from the indoor greenhouse (a/k/a our utility/mud room) to the outdoor garden. The following morning, I heard Joshua yell something about a “crow” in “his garden.” I looked out our window and spotted the same nasty, vile birds you see pecking at the armadillo carcasses on the side of the road. Before I could process what he said, he darted down the hallway in his brown bathrobe and out the back door…with the shotgun. It happened so fast…something about a bird and the garden, then a man with bedhead standing in his bathrobe and flip-flops firing a shotgun from his backyard due south. It was classic. Much like the coyote “extermination” previously discussed on this blog, Joshua did not hit anything, but he has taken great satisfaction in the fact that the “crows” had not returned to peck through his fresh mud. He keeps saying, “Oh, they will be back,” but when that happens, I have a feeling my husband will be waiting.

This situation is somewhat funnier if you have heard about the savage bird attack recently perpetrated against my mother’s herb seedlings. When we purchased our seeds, I agreed to start the vegetables, and Mom agreed to start the herbs. Throughout the entire process, Mom’s herbs have been a little slow and not quite as exciting as the vegetables, and she was beginning to get a little discouraged. I even revealed my secret gardening tip: I sing “Here Comes the Sun” to the seedlings every morning before I turn the grow light on and water them. What can I say? My plants like The Beatles. Last week, Mom decided that perhaps her seedlings needed some real sunlight, and she put the herb sprouts outside on a warm day. When she and Dad went to check on them, they discovered, you guessed it, nasty, vile birds pecking away our seedlings. It was apparently a massacre of epic proportion…Mom conducted a complete replant this week!

So, for this week, the Gardner’s Enemy No. 1 goes to….Nasty, Vile, Ugly, Non-Colorful, Dirty, Carcass-Pecking, Oily, Loud, and Utterly Obnoxious Birds.