Blogging Up Baby

This past Friday, we had our follow-up appointment to check on the progress of Pistachio Almond Allison. Before the appointment, I started fretting that I might have to do another urine test, so I drank about a gallon of water en route to the doctor’s appointment. When I finally arrived, I was in a bad way, but my doctor was “in surgery” (which I think is code for “She slept through her alarm clock” or “She’s playing Solitaire in the back”). We ended up sitting around for about an hour and half during which time I could have successfully deposited about fifteen samples.

The nurse finally called my name, and Mom, Joshua, and I went back to have our ultrasound. I think that my reaction to the entire process was this: Oh, the indignity of it all and it is only just beginning. Before they took me back, the nurse forced me to take a urine test, weighed me, took my blood pressure, took my temperature, and then handed me a sheet of paper about testing my unborn child for literally every possible horrible disorder that might cause any first time mother to fly into a panic. Just as I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am with child, I suddenly have to decide immediately whether my child should be tested to see if its organs are growing outside its body. I mean, is it too much to ask for just a simple “Congratulations?” Afterwards, they cram us all in a tiny exam room and hand me a gown I could have camped underneath. Since this is a family blog, I am going to fast forward through the next part of my exam, but keep in mind, I have no dignity left.

My doctor worked really hard to get a nice picture of Pistachio, but I must confess that they all just looked like a blurry blob to me. Mom took one of the pictures to work to show off her grandblob. Here is what we do know: The doctor thinks little Pistachio is not as far along as first expected. Apparently, I am only about 7-8 weeks along which makes Pistachio’s new due date September 17, 2009. Pistachio had a heart rate of about 157 and is currently about 8 centimeters long.

After the ultrasound, the doctor sent me downstairs to do “some blood work,” (Translation: Suck 9 viles of blood sucked from my already starving body). I pretty much passed out in the chair. A cold rag and two apple juices later, I was good as new but still not quite sure I am cut out for all this!

We are headed back in four weeks to check the progress of Pistachio, but I think it is safe to say I have never seen my family so enthralled with such a tiny little thing. After our appointment, Emily and I went and did a little baby shopping. Mom and Joshua joined us later (for the second trip to Babies R Us), and we finished our day at our family’s favorite Mexican restaurant in Broken Arrow, El Tequila, for dinner. Enjoy some silly pictures from our day!

Mom and Dad want to carry on the Lester family tradition of buying a crib for the grandbaby. Joshua and I liked this set. The bed can transitition to a todller bed and then to a full size bed. The color is fairly close to the molding in the nursery. Yes, I called the room a nursery. Joshua called that room the nursery since we moved in. I have called it the guest room. Until now, I guess.

I bought this onesie because I thought Joshua's mom would really like it since she loves bumble bees. It has a bee on the front of it and says, "I'm what the buzz is all about." Pretty darn cute. Emily bought one too (after an exceedingly awkward encounter with a flamboyant employee of Baby Gap), but for some reason, I couldn't get the picture to load. It is white and has an apple on the front of it with a green worm poking out. It says, "Hello World."

Emily and I decided to test the durability of this stroller in Babies R Us. Notice how Emily is pretending to sleep while being pushed around the store. It really is a wonder we didn't get asked to leave the premises.

Again, notice the expression on my mother's face. She is such a happy and cute future G-Ma!

Yep, I'm knocked up...

I don’t know why I bother with the formality of making this announcement to the blog world, because I am confident that my family has already contacted every single person on the planet regarding my condition. In case, however, you’ve been on Mars for the past few weeks, the Bristow Allisons are officially expecting. I discovered my blessed condition about a week and a half ago while I was in Oklahoma City for a meeting. On that Wednesday, I had some Cheerios and started down the Turnpike to Oklahoma City when it hit. My arms were suddenly covered in goose pimples, and frankly, something was moving inside of me and I was fairly certain it was the Cheerios. I immediately faced a few dilemmas: First, I wasn’t too certain from which end my Cheerios might emerge. I merely suspected they would be exiting my body and soon. Second, I wasn’t sure whether I should stop in Stroud or try to make it to the City. I mean, these waves pass, right? Sometimes, the urge just goes away, right? Actually, that never happens. I stopped in Stroud, dealt with my problem rather uneventfully, and settled in my car with a cold drink. Confident in my evacuation, I hit the road for Oklahoma City.

I arrived in the City and settled in at Nonna’s for my business lunch. Now, I was beginning to think I really had the flu. I was having wicked hot flashes, and I felt an overwhelming urge to strip all of my clothes off in the restaurant. Since I was sort of covered in a cold sweat, perhaps “peel” my clothes off is more accurate. With my clothes slowly beginning to strangle me, I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. Literally, I was going to face-plant in my chicken salad. My friend, Megan, ordered a lovely wine to accompany lunch, and the moment the wine touched my lips, I thought I was going to gag. It was the worst thing I’d ever tasted, but I knew I had had this particular type of wine before and enjoyed it. I told my friend, Megan, that I might have to miss the meeting as I was feeling sick. She took one look at me and said, “Are you pregnant?” (Well, that might not have been the direct quote, but this is a family blog.) I immediately responded, “I don’t think so.” We finished our lunch and by the time the afternoon rolled around, I felt just fine.

Despite all of these little events, I just never put it together. That night, on the way home, I started trying to remember when I had last had my monthly blessing of womanhood, and I flat out couldn’t remember. When I got home, I took a cheap pregnancy test to you know, rule out the baby flu. It was a plus-minus test, and the horizontal line was a little blurry but the vertical line was black as night. Even then, I was suspicious: I mean, it was a little blurry, right? The following morning, I took three more digital tests. You know, the tests that say “Pregnant” and “Not Pregnant?” Well, I bombed all three: It was like a scene out of Juno and my eggo was definitely preggo.

The following Tuesday, Joshua and I went to the doctor to confirm my condition. They again asked me to do my business in a cup to confirm. Frankly, I had a little performance anxiety: I mean, this child already forced me to do something unpleasant in a Turnpike bathroom, and now, they expected me to tinkle in a pink cup while the nurse who looks like she could play linebacker for the Raiders waited outside the door. My result: A little more than a raindrop. I opened the little door to deposit my sample after writing my name on the cup only to discover another patient’s sample waiting for testing. At first, I was totally grossed out, but then I was amazed: I mean, her pink cup was practically brimming over. I shrugged and put my raindrop right next to it. I have a feeling this may be only the beginnings of confronting my inadequacies as a parent.

Luckily, I was so pregnant, the doctor could confirm our child’s existence from my raindrop. We went to Barnes and Noble and bought our first round of pregnancy books: What to Expect When You’re Expecting and The Expectant Father. Apparently, our child, affectionately deemed Pistachio Almond Allison until birth, is currently the size of an olive, and my uterus is the size of an orange. I know, it is shocking. You know, I’ve learned lots of shocking things from my pregnancy reading. The book has almost an entire chapter on spider veins and multiple birth mid-wife delivery (with pictures). Apparently, some babies are born with a full set of teeth or with their entire bodies covered in a thin layer of hair. Let me say that for a first time mother, it is so reassuring to read about how your body will soon look like the purple road map from hell while you prepare to give birth to a monkey baby complete with canines and fur.

In all seriousness, Joshua and the family seem to be over the moon with excitement. Joshua has been an absolutely angel, taking care of his little family after working hard all day. Baby Mama is pleased but apprehensive. I appreciate that Pistachio hasn’t made me too sick. I mean, this child already knows how to bond with his or her mother, in that, I have quite the complex about yacking. I went cold turkey off caffeine after I discovered my condition when Joshua told me our child was going to have ADHD because of Starbucks. I’m not certain how scientific that is, but frankly, after all I put my parents through, I figure I probably have some payback coming. I don’t want to push my luck by throwing possible hyperactivity into that mix. Pistachio apparently likes snacks every 3 hours or so, particularly edamame, almonds, and kiwis, and likes to make his or her mother crash about 2:00 PM. Pistachio also finds it amusing to make his or her mother get up to go potty several times a night. So hilarious!

Well, my mom suggested I blog my pregnancy, so I suppose this is the first in my series. We head back to the doctor on Friday, so hopefully, I will have a picture to share with the blog world, even if the kid will probably look something like a blurry squirrel. The baby is set to make his or her world premiere on August 24 which makes me about ten weeks pregnant. Please leave your comments about the baby’s gender. My best pal, Lisa, has already decided it is a boy. So, cast your vote by commenting on the blog!

Mom was ready to head to Babies R Us the same day she learned about my condition, but she held out for a week or so. Dad took some pictures of her first trip, so enjoy!

Seriously, look at that smile. I think she's ready to be a grandmother.

I appreciate that Dad documented this first trip of many.Although I cannot say for certain what is in these bags, I can make out some diapers (Dad's purchase), and Emily told me that Mom bought a bib that says, "If Mom says no, Ask Grandma." This child is already spoiled, ten weeks into its existence.

Iced-In and Playing Catch-Up!

Since the majority of Northeastern Oklahoma is covered in a sheet of ice, I am homebound for the day and going a little stir-crazy. In a fit of unexpected free time, I thought I would upload some of my fun pictures from the holiday season. Enjoy!

Took this picture of Alvin exploring the ice in the front yard about five minutes ago....

The moo cows are unhappy...and covered in ice.

The view from my front porch (I mean, pointing the opposite way of the ice covered trailer....you know, the one with the yellow toilet/grill seat on the front porch?)

Mom, Meme, and Papa on Christmas Eve

The family on Christmas EveMeme and Papa with the Lester girls on Christmas Eve

Brad shows off his UFC gloves he got for Christmas at Fight Night on the 27th!

The Allison crew watching the UFC fight. We had a full house for the Allison Night of Violence.

KJ, Ethan, Leah, and Hannah hang out on our couch at Fight Night.

Jordan and Mom looking, well, a little strange.

I promised my aunt that this picture would make the blog. She probably thinks I forgot. Well, I didn't. This picture needs no caption. It simply speaks for itself.

When Emily was a little girl, she was terrified of the movie, E.T., specifically the part where toddler Emily would say "E.T. turned into white." Well, her mean-spirited brother-in-law gave her a Christmas surprise so she could revisit that childhood trauma.

The boys eyeball the beef tenderloin for Christmas dinner.

Hotness

Nerds

My cousin, Morganne, and Emily show off Morganne's Christmas gifts

Joshua models his gift from Mom and Dad

Pretty smiles :-)

The Kent Grandkids

Meme and her girls

Papa and his girls

The Kent family

All the ladies on Christmas Day....

Reason for the Season

I started reflecting about the past month in my life and practice today, trying to decide whether I am beginning to emerge from my professional funk. It would be easy for me to tell you about how I represent the best of people and the worst of people. The former group is often composed of those seemingly unworthy of my misplaced mercy, a cast of unlikely gems that, on the surface of things, probably should be automatically cast the latter category. It would be easy for me to tell you about how no matter how much I work or how positive the outcome, the perception remains that the wheels of justice turn too slowly and the cost of my services, even if the client spends $1500 to recover $60000, is always too high. It would be easy for me to tell you how my integrity is automatically in question in almost every interaction thanks to the existing stereotypes about my profession. It would be easy for me to compose a bitter diatribe about how the practice of law is a jealous mistress, a curious hobby, particularly when I know in less than twenty-four hours, I will hopefully have my final and assuredly painful encounter with one of the leading contenders in the latter category.

Yet, this week is Christmas, the perfect time of year to remind myself that regardless of how poetic my problems may be, the reality remains: The story isn’t about me. I have the privilege of choosing my attitude, and at least this week, I choose thankfulness. I may not always like what I do for a living, but I am living my personal life surrounded by the very best of people. Enjoy some new photos of a only a few of my Christmas blessings…

Joshua, his brother, Ethan, and our friend, Brad, play a little Guitar Hero World Tour. I like how interested Ethan's wife, K.J., seems in the background. Notice the littany of dog toys on the floor. Lisa and Brad brought Christmas presents for the dachshunds. Alvin spent the entire evening tearing the rubber toys into tiny pieces. We did not think he was actually eating the pieces....until very, very early this morning. I can confirm, however, he did eat much of the rubber toy.

Another angle of our little rock band....My best pal, Lisa, and I enjoy some very watered down margaritas at the Tulsa State Fair

Mom and my cousin's wife, Stacey

My cousin, John Robert, and Dad

Aunt June and Mom

This picture epitomizes the relationship between my husband and my little sister. Classic.

My cousin, Jordan, gives Mom a hug...

Joshua and Jordan out on my parent's deck. Notice Joshua's Tapout T-Shirt....Meme called it a Satan shirt, and we've referred to it as such ever since. It is a little scary...

Mom always says that her arms are happiest when they are around both of her girls....

My Aunt Sissy and Uncle Preston...

Grillmasters. Probably a small black dachshund named Gus is nosing around underneath the grill, eager for drippings....

Mom and her sister, my Aunt Sissy (a.k.a. Julie)

Meme and my cousin, Morganne

Jordan and Emily.....Can you tell they are related? Seriously?!? Look at those noses....

Sad Farewell to Bristow Landmark

After a brief absence from blogdom, I am sorry to return with some sad news. Bolin Ford Dealership in Bristow, Oklahoma, a historic landmark on Route 66, was destroyed this afternoon after a fire engulfed the building around 1:00 P.M. As of this moment, the fire continues to burn, and several news helicopers are hovering over my office. The school has been evacuated, the Christmas Parade for tonight cancelled, and practically, the entire town of Bristow is standing in disbelief in the middle of Main Street. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, but it still a sad day for our little town. I took a few pictures from my mobile telephone...